What I did on my staycation (and loved)

As per my last article talking about alternatives to retirement, last week I took a week off.

To be honest, it feels more difficult and unnatural for me to take time off. I’m someone who likes to stay busy, have a routine, and check things off my to-do list. But what I’ve learned for myself is that discipline isn’t just being able to do the things I want to do, it’s also doing the things I need to do but have a hard time doing, like resting.

For me, scheduled rest is a spiritual discipline.

The problem with rest for me is the lack of structure and expectation. I don’t know what to do with myself, and because of that, I end up resorting to mindless binge watching of tv shows or scrolling my phone for hours watching short reel after reel. After that I feel more drained than I do restored.

If you’re anything like me and you thrive on days that have some structure and expectations,

Figuring out what to do on your staycation is a lesson in getting to know yourself better

I’d ask yourself the first question-

What are your three favorite activities of all time?

I ask this to all my friends! I also asked this of myself. Of all the people I’ve asked, no two people have said the same thing. Here are my top three things in order

  1. Getting massages
  2. Eating out with friends
  3. Watching a romantic comedy or drama

Because I knew this about myself, I made it a top priority to schedule all these three things in my week. That gave my week some structure and some things to look forward to. I scheduled a foot massage, a lunch date with my brother, and watched a new movie.

I Origins

Asking yourself what your top favorite activities are of all time might seem like such a silly question, but everyone I’ve ever asked has had to stop and think about it. We don’t know ourselves as much as we think we do.

Another thing I knew about myself is that I also love exercising with friends. Because I knew this about myself, I scheduled a hike with a friend and hot yoga with another friend. We also sat at Starbucks and enjoyed a hot tea while we caught up on life.

I also thrive on deepening my relationships. That brings me so much joy since quality time is one of my top love languages and I’m 100% extrovert. Nate and I got some Cuban food and had a date day while the kids were watched by our neighbors.

I also love board games so I played a lot of Catan with my family (my favorite family game) and Dutch Blitz with Nate, which by the way is my favorite 2 person game! Lost Cities is a close second.

I am a big foodie, and with so much free time, I made a lot of food! I made Arroz Caldo.

The toppings are everything you guys!

Hard boiled eggs

Green onions

Fried garlic

Cilantro

This garlic chili sauce

I also made a salmon bang bang bowl that was a hit with my family…

I also roasted two whole chickens, made chicken noodle soup, and made beef ribs. I made steak, mashed potatoes and asparagus.

I made fried fish with a lentil rice.

I made our favorite pancake recipe from the kid’s book “Nate the Great.”

I made chicken pot pie since we had so much roasted chicken! I cooked a lot.

I also did some beauty stuff since I’m into all that girly stuff including paint my nails with my favorite color and dye my roots.

I also went to Nordstrom Rack and browsed clothes and shoes and got a much needed pair of combat boots to replace my worn pair.

I also listened to this cute book on tape-

And lastly, I took a lot of guilt free, any time of the day, naps.

Have you ever taken a staycation? What did you do during that time? How long did you do it for? I’d love to know!

I don’t believe in retirement, and this is what I’m doing instead

My brother, dad, and I in London. My dad is retired from nursing but runs a farm in the Philippines full time with weekly sabbath breaks and periodical travel adventures.

This is a second part series. You can read the first part here- Why I don’t believe in retirement.

So if I don’t believe in retirement, what will I do instead? In the first part of this series, I talked about how instead of retirement…

I believe in rest that repeats

Another picture of us in London.

This rest restores us so we can work again.

This idea below isn’t a Biblical model, but it follows the principle of rest that repeats. This is my goal for rest that I will try to follow for the rest of my life instead of waiting for retirement-

Every 7 days, I will take one day to rest.

Every 7 weeks, I will take one week to rest.

Every 7 months, I will take one month to rest.

Every 7 years, I will take one year to rest.

I will do this until the day I die.

This is just an example of a different alternative way to live a life that doesn’t have retirement as an end goal.

I believe In work that changes shape

Nate doing our roof!

I believe in staying engaged, even gently, for as long as we’re here. For Nate this might mean retiring from his 9-5 and setting up a foundation to help young folks learn about the trade he worked in his whole life- carpentry. It might mean flipping houses or doing habitat for humanity. The point is that he’ll still work, but he’ll choose his work and his hours. He’ll fulfill his calling.

What is a person’s calling? I made this video about it here.

For me, I will continue to do all the things that spark my interest – home decor, writing, fashion, etc. I may teach an English writing class that focuses on helping students get to know themselves better. I will focus on work that feels meaningful to me.

What does it mean to have meaningful work? I made a video about meaningful work here.

So I just took a week off last week as per my “every 7 weeks, take 1 week off” rhythm of rest and I did a little staycation at home that I’ll write about tomorrow. What do you think of this alternative model to retirement? I’d love to know!

Why I don’t believe in retirement

Picture of my dad and me in London. He has retired from nursing but has stayed purpose filled in the Philippines managing and running a 52 hectare farm full of pineapple, coconuts, and rice fields among other things. He oversees several families who work on the farm.

*Note- this is a Biblical perspective, but even if you aren’t Christian, you can treat the Bible like any other historical book to glean wisdom. ☺️

“The two most dangerous years in a man’s life are when he is born and when he retires.”

— attributed to Mark Twain

I do believe in financial freedom and security, but retirement is one of those ideas we rarely question. You work hard for decades, save diligently, and eventually you earn the right to stop. Stop working. Stop being needed. Stop structuring your days around contribution.

It sounds peaceful. And yet, many people reach that stage only to feel oddly unmoored.

When I started reading the Bible with this question in mind, I noticed something surprising: retirement isn’t there. Not as a goal. Not as a reward. Not even as a concept. Work was also a part of the paradise, not a result of the fall.

That absence of retirement in the Bible feels worth paying attention to.

A very modern idea

My dad still believes in periodic rest, a weekly sabbath and trips to travel and enjoy food and spending time with his adult children.

In Scripture, work isn’t treated as a temporary inconvenience. It’s woven into what it means to be human. People farm, build, lead, teach, judge, advise, and create for as long as they are alive and able. Identity and contribution are tightly connected.

That doesn’t mean the Bible glorifies overwork. It doesn’t. But it also doesn’t imagine a finish line where purpose quietly fades out.

The closest thing to retirement

My dad has always loved traveling, sightseeing, and history, and he travels periodically, but his day to day life is focused on working on his farm and providing livelihood for his workers

There is one passage people often point to: Numbers 8:24–26, where Levites step back from full service at age fifty.

At first glance, it sounds like retirement. But read closely and you’ll see what actually happens: they stop doing the heaviest physical labor and shift into support roles—assisting, guarding, mentoring.

They don’t disappear.

They don’t disengage.

They change how they serve.

It’s not an exit. It’s a transition.

No one finishes early

Picture of my dad on his farm

Look at the larger story and the pattern becomes clearer. Moses leads until the end of his life (Deuteronomy 34:7). Joshua completes his work and then dies (Joshua 24:29). Prophets speak until God removes them from the story.

No one announces they’re done because they’ve earned enough rest.

In the biblical imagination, purpose lasts as long as life does.

Rest, yes- but a certain kind

My dad also loves showing my family the wonders and beauty of his native country, the Philippines.

What the Bible does emphasize, again and again, is rest. Weekly rest. Seasonal rest. Rhythmic rest. Rest that repeats and renews.

Sabbath isn’t a reward for finishing everything. It’s a pause that makes it possible to keep going.

Rest is meant to live inside a meaningful life, not replace it.

Why retirement can feel so empty

He also loves spending time with his grandkids of course!

Modern retirement often promises freedom from obligation. But obligation—when it’s chosen and meaningful—is often where purpose lives.

When contribution disappears entirely, many people don’t feel rested. They feel unnecessary.

The problem isn’t leisure. It’s leisure without responsibility, rest without rhythm, comfort without a reason to show up.

A different way to imagine the later years

My dad and older brother Dee. My dad has shown us a great example of an alternative to traditional retirement!

The Bible quietly offers a different picture of aging:

Less physical strain, more wisdom-sharing, fewer tasks, deeper influence, mentoring instead of managing, presence instead of productivity

Not “stop working,” but work differently.

Where I’ve landed

Our trip to Palawan with my dad a few years back.

I don’t believe the goal of life is to become unnecessary.

I believe in rest that repeats.

In work that changes shape.

In staying engaged, even gently, for as long as we’re here.

The Bible doesn’t invite us to retire from purpose.

It invites us to grow into it.

What do you think of this perspective? I’d love to know!

Tomorrow I’ll share how I’ve decided to structure the rest that repeats for a lifetime instead of a traditional retirement.

Conversations with a 7 year old

I can’t believe this little guy is 7 now! Nate and I were talking last night. He said that the best two decisions he’s ever made were marrying me and having kids. I agreed!

Kids are a legacy! Picture of my Daddygrand, my dad, Mamagrand, auntie Myje, and Uncle Danny.

Having kids is like having my organs live outside my body. I’m always trying to make sure they are safe. I cannot believe 10 years has passed in a blink of an eye.

This Friday, I dropped off the boys at a gymnastics parent’s night out to get foot massages and have a Galentine’s Day dinner with some girl friends, and when I picked my boys up, this is what went down-

Luke- Mom, guess what happened at gymnastics?

Me- What?

Luke- A girl came up to me and said, ‘My friend thinks you’re hot!’

Me- Omg really?! Wow, Okay hottie. What did you say?

Luke- I was about to tell her, ‘I already have a Valentine,’ but she had already run off.

How are people already hitting on my 7 year old?!? It just reminds me that teenager years are just around the corner, and I’m scared. 😟 Any tips for a scared mamma???

3 favorite foodie finds

Just had a friend over tonight for a weight lifting workout, dinner, reflexology session (my treat), and craniosacral treatment (her treat)! We fit in so much tonight!

Anyways we had a yummy noodle stir fry (below) and it reminded me that my bestie recommended –

The best tasting vegan oyster sauce

This vegan oyster sauce has just become a sudden family favorite. Nate will drench the entire dish with more after I’ve already made the meal. You literally have to just saute garlic, onion, and any meat and any veggies and then add this sauce and it’s magical. My kids love it too. Definitely glad I listened to my bestie when she pointed it out on our latest visit to Town and Country. It just makes every stir fry over the top amazing.

An amazing Chat Gpt recipe we have on repeat- sour cream aioli

I’ve written about a garlic broth I drink anytime I feel off that keeps me from getting sick. Well, Nate won’t drink that, so so give him this aioli! It has three raw garlic cloves just like my broth, so it too does the trick! I add it to rice bowls like the above picture or you can dunk sweet potato fries in it or any vegetable fritter. Delish! Even yummier than mayo based aioli.

My go to homemade tortilla recipe

This recipe is so easy and simple and addicting! If I have the time, I always prefer a homemade tortilla. I also swear by this tortilla warmer.

I love talking food! Do you have any favorite random foodie finds? I’d love to know!

A Valentine’s Day gift guide for her

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! Do you celebrate? I always love to gift myself something. 🤣 Nate and I are going to brunch while my brother Allan babysits the boys and then Nate is taking the boys and I to motocross. Not my thing, but everyone else is excited!

Here are some lovely things I’m eyeing on my wish list-

A luxurious after makeup spray full of moisture and antioxidants that’s just made of grape water because winter leaves her face feeling tight and parched

Grape water by the French
brand Caudalie

This little luxury is one of those things that feels too extra to just up and buy for yourself. It’s not a toner, serum, cream, or face wash. It’s just luxurious. The best gifts are those that people can’t rationalize getting for themselves but when they are gifted said luxurious, unnecessary item, it feels special!

The most luxurious, coziest, thickest, most substantial house slippers because her feet are always cold

Ugg Scuffette II, the Michelin Star of house slippers?

Have you met a woman whose feet aren’t always cold? I have not. Have you met a woman who would spend $100 on a pair of house slippers? I have not. This is why there’s a need here you see. I was once gifted a pair of luxurious house slippers, better than anything I’d ever owned before, and it was the most amazing treat to be able to retire my former house slippers for the unexpected upgrade!

Dainty every day earrings she can wear around the house and feel cute even in her yoga attire and sweats

The daintiest plumeria studs in silver, gold, or rose gold

How adorable are these studs? I love the idea of a daily earrings that you automatically throw on every day. These would make me smile every time I saw them.

A trinket dish for her to put on her night stand that reminds her what’s really going on in your mind every day

A forever love note at her bedside

She will need an adorable trinket dish to house said daily earrings right? How cute is this red one with the words, “Spent all day thinking of you.” (Swoon!)

An elegant electric candle warmer with the most amazing candle scent so she doesn’t have a fire risk and she can enjoy her candles much longer

This elegant candle warmer with this candle.

Did you know lighting a candle actually releases soooo many terrible toxins? Stop lighting candles and start warming them! It’s much safer, less toxic, and the fragrance lasts longer.

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Some helpful things I keep in mind when I’m pmsing or on my period

Tonight at a real estate investor’s meetup with my friend

I’m on my period! Hurrah 😒 I’ve been taking a lot of naps this week, because, I remind myself, on my period, I can treat napping as a sport. See below! Here are a few things that I’ve found helpful during that time of the month.

My body doesn’t want to fast when I’m pmsing

I once talked to a friend who said something that stuck with me. She said, “I’ve just come to accept that it’s always going to be harder to stick to my good eating habits when I’m pmsing. Well, it turns out that our body needs to feast during that time, so that makes sense! (See above) Now that I know this about the body, I can eat more during my luteal phase, guilt free.

I will want chocolate

My favorite milk chocolate

I’ve come to accept this and embrace it and always have a stash of European chocolate at the ready. My favorite is Icelandic milk chocolate!

The cure for hormonal headaches is miso soup

The cause is a drop in estrogen, and the cure is to naturally raise the estrogen using miso! It totally works!

The cure for cramps is to avoid anything with canola oil

I remembered listening to this hormonal guru on a podcast, and I never have cramps since getting rid of seed oils, particularly canola oil.

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My two favorite YouTube exercise channels, my weekly exercise routine, and the podcast that motivated me to lift heavy weights

Hi friends! I’ll start by saying, I hate lifting weights or doing any kind of resistance training. That being said, there’s no going around it, if we want to live long, stay strong, and avoid falling and quickly deteriorating when we get older, we need to lift. Here’s what has helped me –

My two favorite YouTube exercise channels

Juice and Toya
Dan and Tiff

If you’re a morning person and like to work out as soon as possible so you’re too tired to resist and you can just get it out of the way, you may have also discovered this pet peeve.

I hate when instructors talk during a workout.

I discovered these two channels above because they don’t talk during the workout! It makes for a peaceful morning to not have to listen to anyone huffing, puffing, and yelling at me on the tv.

I also love an at home workout because I’m too lazy to have to wear appropriate clothing and drive to the gym and I’m too frugal to spend on a gym membership.

YouTube workouts save time, money, and effort! Also since I hate lifting so much, I often invite a friend over to suffer through a 30 minute weight lifting session with me while our kiddos play.

My weekly exercise routine

I love weekly hikes with my dog and friends.

I really aim to move my body at least 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week. Most days of the week, this translates to brisk walking for an hour with my dog, up and down hills around our neighborhood. When he stops to smell something, I do lunges and squats. Most weeks, I do an hour hike with a friend. It’s all uphill half the way, and all downhill on the way down. If I don’t go for a walk, I do a 30 minute session on my favorite exercise machine, the vertical climber. Makes me sweat more than an elliptical, but feels like a better workout. It’s also pretty compact and can fit in my closet when I’m not using it unlike a treadmill or stair climber.

A different perspective – food for thought

I have given up on working out hard like doing HIIT or running. This article sent by my friend has made me rethink strenuous exercise. I’m also relieved because strenuous exercise makes me hate life. 😆

Lastly, I try to fit in 1-3 30 minute weight lifting sessions using the above fitness instructors on YouTube. I lift heavy and move slowly-currently 20lb weights. Here’s why-

The podcast that motivated me to lift heavy weights

This interview with an Orthopedic surgeon changed how I thought about lifting weights.

This podcast episode is one of those things that makes you realize you are a women of a certain age. 😭🤣 After listening to it, I was convinced to lift heavy – meaning I’m fatigued after 6-8 reps. At this point in my life, I want to be as strong and capable as I can be for as long as possible. I don’t just want to live long. I want to live well. Sounds like muscle is the key to that.

Anyways, I’d love to know what you do to stay active! Or what motivates you to move? Comment below!

The best advice I ever read about confidence was from Mindy Kaling…

The only blazer I love is super comfy because it is super stretchy. Here’s a similar one.

Happy Friday! Many many years ago, I read an article on Glamour magazine about confidence featuring Mindy Kaling. It was a really different take, and I found it super helpful! Spoiler alert – there’s hard work involved.

After implementing what she suggests, I can tell you from personal experience- it works!

Here’s my two cents including how it not care what other people think- in this video.